The reason is that often when a man is out on a date, his body is there, but his soul is not - which means his mind and his will are elsewhere. And, since most men have difficulty thinking and feeling at the same time, on the first few dates he's not likely to be thinking about you as a whole person. Rather, what he's mostly feeling is lust, and he's concentrating primarily on getting you into the sack. Later, when he's alone and no longer eyeing your body, he can begin to think about you as a human being. It is then that he may decide that, for whatever reason, you and he are not right for each other. In other words, once he is alone, he has to distill everything he's learned about you to decide whether or not to call back.

Waiting is hell, but I maintain that a man is not gone unless it has been eight weeks, because it can take that log for him to process a decision.

For four weeks, a man can usually keep himself busy dating, working, and living without you. But if he is really interested, somewhere between six and eight weeks he will begin to miss you, and then he will call.

Can you call him? No, not if you're calling to ask him out. If he left something at your house, sure you can then call and arrange to have it returned, and to give him the opportunity to ask you out. If you're planning to attend an event that you think he might enjoy, you can ask him to escort you and join a group of people. If you're having a party, you can invite him. But you must not ask him out on a date unless you are prepared to be the man in the relationship.

So when you go out on a date, put his name down on a calendar. If he doesn't call in eight weeks, he doesn't like you. But by that time, you are not likely to care.

Sandra Harmon

SANDRA HARMON

Sandra Harmon has become one of the country's most popular Love, Dating, Sex and Relationship Coach since the phenomenal success of her two, best selling, self help books, the powerful and ground breaking "Getting To I Do" and it?s sequel, "Staying Married and Loving It".

Sandra's one-on-one love, sex, dating and relationship coaching is geared strictly toward her clients personal needs and goals. Known as "The Love Coach To The Stars", her clients, many of whom are Hollywood superstars and power brokers, all swear by her simple but successful methods for helping them find and keep lasting love.

A popular public speaker on relationship issues and celebrity marriages, Sandra is a frequent guest on such television shows as "Montel" and "Maury" and has been featured on hundreds of radio shows, newspapers and magazines.

Sandra has also had an extraordinary career as a journalist, TV writer and film maker. She won an Emmy Award for writing the late-night talk show, "The Dick Cavett Show" for ABC-TV. She wrote and produced Real Life Stories, on Lifetime Television, and was the head writer of "The New Bill Cosby Show", an ABC-TV comedy variety series.

Sandra's popular first novel, the critically acclaimed, "A Girl Like Me", which was based on her on life, was published by Dutton Books. She also wrote and produced the television movie, "Fast Friends" for NBC, which was based on her own experiences as a writer on "The Dick Cavett Show". She also produced "Promises to Keep" a CBS movie starring Claire Bloom and Robert Mitchum.,

Sandra is also the co-author of "Elvis and Me" - (the story of Elvis Presley and Priscilla Presley - written with Priscilla Presley ) - which sold nearly one million copies in hard cover and three million in paperback and was, according to The Wall Street Journal, the tenth largest seller of the l980's, occupying the #l spot on the New York Times Best seller list for more than fifty weeks in both hard and soft cover.